10 Tips on Living Fat

1. Slow down.
There are millions of wonderful things you can do with your soft, round body. Physically keeping up with equally well-motivated peers who weigh half what you do is not one of them. You are not built for speed. Think before you act, then act and be done with it. Save your exercise for when you can move at your own pace and chose your own distance.

2. Wear comfortable clothes.
You’re not going to get thin by punishing yourself with clothes that do not fit. Constricting clothing bleeds the energy out of you. If it doesn’t work on you now, give it away, now. If your favorite store doesn’t carry your size, it’s not your favorite store any more. Yes, you did look good in that. Now it’s too tight. You can look good in something else. You’re a big person, and you will be noticed, so anticipate it positively. It’s okay to use clothes to show off your delicious body.

3. Eat in front of people.
You have a right to fuel your body. You have a right to enjoy your food. If someone watching is one of those nasty, “I just can’t stand to see a fat person gorging himself,” types, that’s not a friendship you need to pursue anyway. Your real friends may occasionally invite you to share some of their food. Do it. You are not the cause of global warming. You are not the reason for global starvation. Live your life and let it show.

4. Adjust yourself.
It’s okay to touch yourself. When you sit down or stand up or go to make an expressive movement, allow yourself the luxury, before or after, of adjusting your fat. Get yourself comfortable with gravity, as often as it takes. Skinny people can jump right into things. Fat people often need to get situated. Take the time. Make it a Zen thing. It’s a way of respecting yourself. Enjoy it.

5. Check your posture.
If you’re going to spend time checking yourself in the mirror, use it looking at how you hold yourself. If you’re big enough, your belly should precede you into a room. Lead with your gut and not your head. You can’t disguise your waistline (or your man-boobs if that’s your gender) by leaning forward into stuff. Stand as tall as you are and let whatever sticks out just stick out. Walk like you have a right to support and transport your sweet, round, body. And above a certain size, you really do need to abandon high heels.

6. Go for a walk.
Walking is way better than sweating on a machine. The scenery changes and maybe you’ll interact with other people who also have real lives. You need to be comfortable getting up and down and moving around when you need to. Walking does this, and if you can do it, it is sufficient exercise. (Skinny people carry dumbbells. You don’t have to.) If people compliment you on your efforts to lose weight, tell them politely that you’re just trying to get stronger. If they persist, try eating something while you walk. Or invite them along.

7. Stop watching The Biggest Loser.

8. Be nice to fat people.
Your society has conditioned you, from youth, to snub or ignore fat people. Get over it. People know you’re fat, and your talking with other fatties is not going to change that awareness. You wouldn’t be reading this if being fat weren’t a significant part of your self-identity, so you and other big folks unavoidably have something in common. That’s okay. Use your interaction to make a difference. Try to ignore diet talk, because many of us can’t help it.

9. “Diet food” sucks.
It’s expensive, overprocessed, and tastes like dirt. This is your one real life. Eat real food.

10. Quit Googling fat.
Read about something else. Every list like this you read is time you could spend learning something fun. Delete everything fat from your bookmarks. Live life.