Hygiene and Grooming Tips

I've discovered that with kids who drool a lot and can't control it, instead of using bibs, use bandanas. Bandanas come in many colors and styles, and you can even make your own. Get some fabric at a store and cut it into about a two by two (foot) square. Then sew around the edges. Instantly, you have a cool new bandana - any fabric, any design. They only take about 15 minutes to make. You can tie bandanas around kids necks and go everywhere, and no one will say "Why does so-and-so have a bib on?" They are stylish, easy, quick, and awesome. And you can always throw them in the wash, no hassle. - Initials, city, and state unknown

If your child's eye has been breaking out around the area of the adhesive from eye patches, Opticlude Patches by 3M have worked really well for us. If they continue to break out, take a bit of Milk of Magnesia (M.O.M.) on a Q-tip and draw a circle around their eye with the M.O.M. and let it dry, then apply the patch. The M.O.M. makes a good barrier between the adhesive and the skin which will stop the rashes!! - L.W., New Brunswick, Canada

This is for kids who absolutely hate to have their hair cut. We finally gave in and paid $69 for a FLOWBEE. It is an electric clipper set on a vacuum. It doesn't do the best job, but it gets the hair off quickly and easily and I don't worry about cutting off an ear as my son fights and swings his head around. He also doesn't get any hair in his eyes and I have nothing to clean up. We should have done it long ago. I used to dread the haircut and wait until it was a long matted mess. No more! We ordered it off of the Internet. - L.O., Logan, Utah

After reading other tips for nappy rash, I recalled a home remedy that I swear by: egg white! After cleaning and thoroughly drying the area, put a thin smear of egg white over the sore area or area to be protected. Allow it a few seconds to dry and there is a perfect seal over the area. And, it’s totally natural! This was the best tip I was ever given! - M.M., Picnic Point, NSW

I have a neat idea that's been working for about two weeks with our 6 (almost 7) year old Mikie. Mikie has cerebral palsy and also mild mental retardation, along with ADHD and possible behavior problems (other than that, he's a spoiled monster). Well, Mikie is on Dilantin for seizure disorders, and if any of you are familiar with it, it can cause bad gum problems.

The toothbrush issue has always been a big problem here and he hated getting his teeth brushed by me. The dentist said that we needed to do it 2 to 3 times a day since he was getting a bad mouth from letting him do it by himself.

Well, we invented the Toothbrush Fairy! Okay, so how does it work? Well, it’s kind of like the Tooth Fairy, but this one comes every Friday and checks your teeth when you’re sleeping, and if you do a good job all week by helping to learn to brush your teeth and letting Mommy or Daddy do it correctly, then the Toothbrush Fairy leaves a shiny quarter. Well, I know I’m cheap, but hey, he's still young enough to appreciate a quarter! And if he gives me too much of a hard time, I remind him of the Toothbrush Fairy, and he usually straightens up. When the time comes for him to test me, I tell him, "Well, I guess the Toothbrush Fairy didn't like what she saw... maybe next week you will try harder." I hope this helps! It has been a Godsend with us so far! - A.S., Manassas Park, VA

My son, Asa, is 9 years old, and has PDD-NOS. To clear up his filthy fingernail problem, we let him play with shaving cream in the bath. It really gets into those nasty crevices and he smells sooo good afterwards. - C.T., Rio Medina, TX

If your child tends to get sticky eyes in the mornings, (eyelashes stuck together, or just filled with goopy matter) try wetting a Q-tip with water and a little baby shampoo, then gently massage. The shampoo really helps to clean them off, plus it doesn't sting. - B.N., Burlington, KY

I always had a problem with sores and peeling of the skin around Kevin's fingers, because he always had his fingers in his mouth and the skin was always wet. When I asked my pediatrician what I could use around the skin to protect it that would be non-toxic (because whatever is in his hands goes in his mouth), he suggested Aquaphor. It is available at any pharmacy and is a gel that blocks the skin from wetness. It worked great for Kevin. - J.W., Long Island, NY

We use a lot of made up songs, especially for the less enjoyed tasks like tooth brushing. Just make up any little nonsense verse to go with each part of the task to distract the child. We also stick to a standard routine of what we do in the morning - he goes along with this a lot better. For hair cutting, I often sneak in while he is in the tub and avoid frequent trips to the barber. - L.F., Pawtucket, RI

This is a tip for "wheelchair hair." There's a great product on the market you can get anywhere. It's called "No More Tangles." You just spray it on before you brush and the tangles come right out. And, there's no screaming! - V.H., San Jose, CA

Having a child with special needs has proven to be challenging. But nothing compares to the frustration of "wheelchair hair." It was always coarse, and matted. Now I use V05 leave-in hair conditioner. It took a few weeks to remedy, but I don't have problems anymore! - C.K., city and state unknown

This tip is for children with cerebral palsy or any other condition that causes the hands to be fisted, which in turn causes a foul odor. After the child has been bathed, rub some cream deodorant into the palm and between the fingers. You can get several kinds that come in small compact looking containers. The one we use is called MUM. No more sweaty hands and the odor is gone! - K.W., Sanford, NC

School Tips

My son has Tourettes syndrome, as well as ADHD and OCD. The lines of communication with his teacher and aide are very important. I've devised a form that I send to school each morning with my son that has the date and the medication he is currently taking (he rotates every 7 days). There is a section for "a.m. comments" (here I write how his previous evening was, how he slept, if he's in a waxing period, etc.). Then, there is a chart with columns for the time period, activity, activity level (on a 1 [least] to 5 [greatest] scale), his focusing level, and if he displayed tics. There is a section at the bottom for "p.m. comments," where his aide and/or teacher write anything I need to know that happened during the day. Although verbal communication is also a must, this eliminates having to speak with them on a daily basis. - J.K., Saranac Lake, NY

Know all of your rights, and don’t sign the school (ARD/IEP) papers if you truly do not agree. Voice your opinion, know what you want your child to get from the school system and push for it. Join "Mothers From Hell - Advocating Disability rights - we will not be silenced" (an advocacy group with good ideas for school meetings), plus you can purchase one of the T-shirts with the logo to wear to the meetings!! - R.E., Odessa, TX

Besides knowing your child's rights, which is more difficult than it sounds, and not taking no for an answer when you know what your child needs, I learned a very important tip this year. It doesn't matter what is written on paper but what actually happens in that classroom, and unless you actually go in and regularly observe that classroom, you really don't know. I couldn't figure out why David's behavior had become more aggressive at home, until I observed his class to find 4 children with out-of-control behavior disorders in his classroom. The class was total commotion and confusion, and the teacher confided in me that she felt she was not capable. It was not the teacher's fault, but the administration's, which failed to listen to her. They did listen to me. So, do speak up parents! - L.F., Pawtucket, RI

One of the best time and communication problems that was resolved at my son’s school has been a "communication book" that is kept in his pack sack. Anything that changes, either at home or at school, is written in his book. I will write down a simple change, for instance that I have a day off work. The school can then be prepared that my son may start requesting to come home because he knows that I am at home. The school will write down each day how his day went because we have a reward system with stickers that go on the calender for good behavior that works toward a bigger reward at the end of each week. This has worked well for both the school and ourselves, but most of all, it provides consistency for my son. - D.L., Nipigon, Ontario, Canada

I am a single mother and my daughter has autism. I do not have the option to stay at home or work flex hours. My tip is, at the beginning of August, call the school your child is attending and schedule an appointment with the principal and director of the after-school program. This way, you can make sure that all three of you are on the same "page" and that you get all the assistance your child may need up-front. Last year, we had no problem obtaining permission for one adult to supervise my daughter, one-on-one. There was also no problem in the school hiring that person.

We are in a new school this year. I called 2 days ago to schedule the meeting and was told that they are so short staffed, that they probably can not "accommodate" my daughter! Now I have 3 weeks to try and sort this out. Had I not called early, on the first day of school I would have been faced with finding something for her EVERY afternoon! - L.W., Marietta, GA

Whenever I send notes to school or anyone for that matter, I write the note on brightly colored paper. Then when I do a follow-up phone call, I remind them that I sent it on the bright green, orange, red, etc. paper. It helps them locate it in their stack of papers.

To help with organization, we color code the notebooks with the corresponding textbook. If the spelling book is yellow, we buy a yellow notebook. If the science book is purple, we get a purple notebook. This does help to keep the same textbook and notebook together for assignments. - S.G., Ogallala, NE

I have problems with misunderstandings about my son's Individualized Education Plan (IEP), and often need to send notes to his resource teacher, assistant principal or counselor. Often, David doesn't tell me there's a problem until we're sitting outside school, but his advocate has said to keep copies of all such notes.

So I now have a no-carbon-required memo book in my glove compartment. It has 100 pages, meaning that I can write 50 notes, and costs about $6 at an office superstore. When a minor problem arises, I just write a note, send the white original to the teacher and leave the yellow one in the book (easier to find if I ever need to go to mediation or a hearing!). And though they're still hand-written, they look more "serious" and "official" than a note written on pretty stationery or on a page ripped out of David's notebook. I've noticed that I get faster/better feedback from the school since making the switch. When the problem is SERIOUS, however, such as a three-day in-school suspension, I write all notes on the computer and fax them from a public fax. Then I file my copy, the transmission sheet and the sheet that proves the fax was received. If I get a call from the principal/teacher/counselor in response to my fax, I then do a computer memo about my understanding of the conversation and fax that to the school, including a line about "if you do not respond within 'x' working days, I will assume my interpretation of this matter is correct." - E.M., Indianapolis, IN