Feeding Tips

We have a child with Down syndrome. At around age 5, we wanted her to drink from a cup using a straw - just like all the other kids do. She could not understand the concept of "sucking" on the straw. By accident, after many attempts, we told her to "kiss" the straw. This produced the "sucking" motion and she caught on from that point forward. We have told several other parents who have children with DS and it has worked for them too. This allows the child and parent the freedom to buy things like drinking boxes. - L.F., Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

I saw the comment on the lack of large bibs for adults. One suggestion would be to get a length of ribbon and sew on clips, such as alligator clips, onto both ends. That way, you can use anything as a bib; just hang the ribbon on the person's neck and clip it to the towel, napkin, etc. I got this idea from a Teletubby travel kit that came with a sippy cup, a bowl and a gadget such as the one I just described, so we can use the restaurant's paper napkins in an emergency. - C.P., Midwest City, OK

If your child is on a pureed food diet, and you are going out for the day, heat the food before leaving and put it in a thermos. It will stay hot for hours. You can also use these for cold food. I even bought my daughter her own special little lunch bucket, so now she can have lunch anywhere we go. - L.J., Sioux Falls, SD

When I finally got tired of just feeding my daughter the tasteless baby food, I looked for something else that would puree smoothly in the blenders. I buy the Hormel microwave cup (they have potato and ham, broccoli and cheese, spaghetti, beans and wieners, chicken noodle or dumpling, etc.), and my daughter loves them much better than baby food. If your child is still doing baby food, it’s a quick and fast meal. Also, I puree bananas and canned fruit and vegetables. I give her a very high protein drink: one banana with a package of Carnation breakfast and 7 ounces of whole milk with a cup of ice cream. I throw it in the blender and when I pour it in the cup, I pour on chocolate milk. Cereal I grind into a power and then add milk until smooth. For other ideas, you can order a great pureed recipe book by Randy Wilson called Non-Chew Foods. - L.J., Sioux Falls, SD

My 17 year old daughter has difficulty handling foods like soup or cereal that have different textures in the same bite. We solved the problem by mixing her breakfast cereal with low fat yogurt instead of milk. She loves to decide which flavor and no spilled milk!! - B.P., Oklahoma City, OK

Johanna has quadriplegic athetoid cerebral palsy, accompanied by marked oral motor deficits. After 15 years, we've found that the best way to prepare her food is still the "Happy Baby" brand baby-food grinder (formerly made by Bowland-Jacobs of Yorkville, IL; I don't know if they're still made). The problem with food processors, or any motorized food preparation method, is that they tend to turn the food into soup. The perforated metal plate of the Happy Baby grinder, with slow manual grinding, leaves enough texture in the food to exercise what oral motor skills Johanna has. We suspect the old-style metal grinders used about 50 years ago for meat grinding, would also work well. - E.A., Boulder, CO

When your child is just beginning to eat, or if your child has some feeding problems, use a baby food grinder to grind up small portions of your leftovers. Freeze them in ice cube trays to use when your child needs a quick nutritious snack. - C.U., city and state unknown

My son won't eat vegetables, so I grate them finely and add them to ground meat for hamburger patties, cornbread, spaghetti sauce, stuffing, etc. I use any combination of carrots, zucchini, squash, mushrooms, celery, eggplant, and/or bell pepper. I also add fortified baby cereal to gravies, mashed potatoes, sauces, etc. to increase vitamin content. - J.J., New Orleans, LA

Use pudding or other thick sticky food for children learning to feed themselves. It will stick to the utensils and provide the child with success getting food to their mouths without it falling off by the time the utensil reaches the mouth. - D.S., Fayetteville, NC

My son loves to eat in his room, in front of his TV/VCR, on a tray. To keep the spills at a minimum on my carpet, I went to the office supply store and bought a mat that goes under your computer chair. The short end fits under the TV and he doesn't try to pull it up because it is hard, heavy plastic. It stays put on the carpet and works like a charm - wipes up perfectly. Just spray a little bleach type cleaner and wipe away... it's sanitary, a cinch to clean and no more stains on my carpet. The small ones run around $9.95 at Office Depot. - M.G., Louisville, KY

I have a 17 year old severely mentally handicapped daughter. She has severe motor deficits in all areas. She walked at age 6 and was toilet trained at age 10. A way we taught her to use a straw and even helped with the sippie cups was using a drink box, with a straw. We would put the straw into her mouth and squeeze the box and the liquid would come out. Through this we were able to teach her how to drink with a straw. - M.H., Springfield, LA

My son is 15 months old and requires all of his fluids to be thickened for him to tolerate them. I have found the best product so far (after trying a number of them) to be the Novartis Nutrition/Resource Product Range. They supply Thicken-Up powder and also pre-thickened juices - which are very convenient for traveling. Also, they have a product called Dairy Thick. They have an office I believe in Minnesota. - N.B., Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

I was just at a vendor fair and was looking at one of the catalogs and saw a bib for larger kids. I was about to try to sew something to use for my 9 year old so she wouldn't get food all over her clothes when she eats. This large bib made me think of the plastic art smocks that you buy for art at school. It has a pocket at the bottom to catch food. I haven't found one yet, but that might give someone an idea. - S.S., Aurora, IL

Several years ago, I was a teacher of orthopedically and multi-handicapped children, along with being a camp counselor for children with a variety of special needs. In an effort to escape the perpetual "graham cracker and juice" snack routine at camp, I decided to try Jell-O jiggles; I had tried them in my classroom, and they had been a big hit. One of the campers began chewing for the first time ever(!), and his mother was thrilled enough to continue fixing them for him! They are easy to prepare, and the recipe is on the box of most Jell-O packages (regular and sugar-free). I have also used pure juice and gelatin; they taste great, but the lack of preservatives keeps them from staying firm as long. That was fine (and preferred) for our own children, but the length of time required to feed some of my "other" children warranted the longer-lasting variety. - H.B., Jefferson, NC

I am a single parent of two wonderful children, Samantha, 5 years old, and Henry, 9 years old. Henry has special needs. He has cerebral palsy, is blind, delayed, has seizures, and more; a great kid nonetheless. Anyway, he does not have a G-tube and eats by mouth. I have to feed him, but I prefer that to the G-tube. He doesn't have any vision, and I didn't want to take taste away from him. Well, we've always had a hard time getting him to drink so that he doesn't dehydrate, especially in the summer. We used cups and 10cc syringes, but they would always spill and it would take over an hour to drink 8 ounces of water. We wouldn't even bother with other drinks, like milk or juices, because of how long it took to get him to drink. Water was essential; the benefits of the other drinks could be found in foods he could eat. Anyway, one day, while on my way back from a trip to California, I was in the car and knew that he needed to drink. A general rule I have is if I'm thirsty, he's thirsty, so if I drink, he drinks. Well, no cup and I couldn't find the syringe amongst the chaos in the van. I did have a spray bottle though, which is what I used to spray the kids faces and necks in the heat. IDEA! I pointed the squirt bottle into the side of his mouth and squirted. He was startled at first, but the spray tickled his throat and he started laughing. The spray was enough to stay in his mouth and he swallowed it with no problem. From this day forward, I use squirt bottles to make sure that he drinks enough. The nice thing about it is that I have bottles for milk, bottles for juice, for soda, for water and in the same time it used to take him to drink 8 ounces of water before, he can drink any of his drinks, plus water, plus finish his meals. I always have a squirt bottle on his chair wherever we go - to spray his face and to quench his thirst. It works great! - C.W., Phoenix, AZ

My son tends to want to push his food towards him when he is eating finger foods. Well, since I have yet to see someone come up with a feeding tray, such as one on a wheelchair (completely lipped all the way around), he was pushing food into his lap and the chair. What helped was a cheap ($2.99) half-round, plastic chip and dip dish. I attached velcro strips to the bottom and matching strips to the tray, so that it was more difficult for him to push the dish off of the tray. Hope this helps. - M.H., Adrian, MI

For Madeline (age 18), who is a messy eater because of her disability, we cannot find suitable sized bibs at an affordable price to protect her clothing, so we use towels. We use some so-called "guest towels" which are too small in our minds for towels (large enough to dry hands on once), but are larger than a face cloth. Also, we had some towels which we didn't really like (a free gift from a shopping catalogue), so I cut them down to what I though was an appropriate size and sewed cotton ribbon for the ties. Some home-made bibs don't have ties, so I just tuck them into her collar and spend a lot of meal time re-tucking them in! - T.H., Bristol, UK

My son is hyposensitive in his mouth and can't feel foods or liquids until they hit his gag reflex, and then we get aspiration, etc. We tried "Thick-It" and that helped a little but we couldn't use it with his medications because of problems with binding. We hit the jackpot when his occupational therapist suggested making everything REALLY cold, almost freezing. He can feel that sooner and giving him 5 cc's of medications has dropped from a 30 minute choking ordeal, to a 3 minute regular kid kind of thing. He is even starting to eat cereal (thick and cold). It sounds disgusting, but it works! Talk to your doctor to be sure your child's medications can be put in the fridge. - T.S., Santaquin, UT

Hygiene and Grooming Tips

I've discovered that with kids who drool a lot and can't control it, instead of using bibs, use bandanas. Bandanas come in many colors and styles, and you can even make your own. Get some fabric at a store and cut it into about a two by two (foot) square. Then sew around the edges. Instantly, you have a cool new bandana - any fabric, any design. They only take about 15 minutes to make. You can tie bandanas around kids necks and go everywhere, and no one will say "Why does so-and-so have a bib on?" They are stylish, easy, quick, and awesome. And you can always throw them in the wash, no hassle. - Initials, city, and state unknown

If your child's eye has been breaking out around the area of the adhesive from eye patches, Opticlude Patches by 3M have worked really well for us. If they continue to break out, take a bit of Milk of Magnesia (M.O.M.) on a Q-tip and draw a circle around their eye with the M.O.M. and let it dry, then apply the patch. The M.O.M. makes a good barrier between the adhesive and the skin which will stop the rashes!! - L.W., New Brunswick, Canada

This is for kids who absolutely hate to have their hair cut. We finally gave in and paid $69 for a FLOWBEE. It is an electric clipper set on a vacuum. It doesn't do the best job, but it gets the hair off quickly and easily and I don't worry about cutting off an ear as my son fights and swings his head around. He also doesn't get any hair in his eyes and I have nothing to clean up. We should have done it long ago. I used to dread the haircut and wait until it was a long matted mess. No more! We ordered it off of the Internet. - L.O., Logan, Utah

After reading other tips for nappy rash, I recalled a home remedy that I swear by: egg white! After cleaning and thoroughly drying the area, put a thin smear of egg white over the sore area or area to be protected. Allow it a few seconds to dry and there is a perfect seal over the area. And, it’s totally natural! This was the best tip I was ever given! - M.M., Picnic Point, NSW

I have a neat idea that's been working for about two weeks with our 6 (almost 7) year old Mikie. Mikie has cerebral palsy and also mild mental retardation, along with ADHD and possible behavior problems (other than that, he's a spoiled monster). Well, Mikie is on Dilantin for seizure disorders, and if any of you are familiar with it, it can cause bad gum problems.

The toothbrush issue has always been a big problem here and he hated getting his teeth brushed by me. The dentist said that we needed to do it 2 to 3 times a day since he was getting a bad mouth from letting him do it by himself.

Well, we invented the Toothbrush Fairy! Okay, so how does it work? Well, it’s kind of like the Tooth Fairy, but this one comes every Friday and checks your teeth when you’re sleeping, and if you do a good job all week by helping to learn to brush your teeth and letting Mommy or Daddy do it correctly, then the Toothbrush Fairy leaves a shiny quarter. Well, I know I’m cheap, but hey, he's still young enough to appreciate a quarter! And if he gives me too much of a hard time, I remind him of the Toothbrush Fairy, and he usually straightens up. When the time comes for him to test me, I tell him, "Well, I guess the Toothbrush Fairy didn't like what she saw... maybe next week you will try harder." I hope this helps! It has been a Godsend with us so far! - A.S., Manassas Park, VA

My son, Asa, is 9 years old, and has PDD-NOS. To clear up his filthy fingernail problem, we let him play with shaving cream in the bath. It really gets into those nasty crevices and he smells sooo good afterwards. - C.T., Rio Medina, TX

If your child tends to get sticky eyes in the mornings, (eyelashes stuck together, or just filled with goopy matter) try wetting a Q-tip with water and a little baby shampoo, then gently massage. The shampoo really helps to clean them off, plus it doesn't sting. - B.N., Burlington, KY

I always had a problem with sores and peeling of the skin around Kevin's fingers, because he always had his fingers in his mouth and the skin was always wet. When I asked my pediatrician what I could use around the skin to protect it that would be non-toxic (because whatever is in his hands goes in his mouth), he suggested Aquaphor. It is available at any pharmacy and is a gel that blocks the skin from wetness. It worked great for Kevin. - J.W., Long Island, NY

We use a lot of made up songs, especially for the less enjoyed tasks like tooth brushing. Just make up any little nonsense verse to go with each part of the task to distract the child. We also stick to a standard routine of what we do in the morning - he goes along with this a lot better. For hair cutting, I often sneak in while he is in the tub and avoid frequent trips to the barber. - L.F., Pawtucket, RI

This is a tip for "wheelchair hair." There's a great product on the market you can get anywhere. It's called "No More Tangles." You just spray it on before you brush and the tangles come right out. And, there's no screaming! - V.H., San Jose, CA

Having a child with special needs has proven to be challenging. But nothing compares to the frustration of "wheelchair hair." It was always coarse, and matted. Now I use V05 leave-in hair conditioner. It took a few weeks to remedy, but I don't have problems anymore! - C.K., city and state unknown

This tip is for children with cerebral palsy or any other condition that causes the hands to be fisted, which in turn causes a foul odor. After the child has been bathed, rub some cream deodorant into the palm and between the fingers. You can get several kinds that come in small compact looking containers. The one we use is called MUM. No more sweaty hands and the odor is gone! - K.W., Sanford, NC

School Tips

My son has Tourettes syndrome, as well as ADHD and OCD. The lines of communication with his teacher and aide are very important. I've devised a form that I send to school each morning with my son that has the date and the medication he is currently taking (he rotates every 7 days). There is a section for "a.m. comments" (here I write how his previous evening was, how he slept, if he's in a waxing period, etc.). Then, there is a chart with columns for the time period, activity, activity level (on a 1 [least] to 5 [greatest] scale), his focusing level, and if he displayed tics. There is a section at the bottom for "p.m. comments," where his aide and/or teacher write anything I need to know that happened during the day. Although verbal communication is also a must, this eliminates having to speak with them on a daily basis. - J.K., Saranac Lake, NY

Know all of your rights, and don’t sign the school (ARD/IEP) papers if you truly do not agree. Voice your opinion, know what you want your child to get from the school system and push for it. Join "Mothers From Hell - Advocating Disability rights - we will not be silenced" (an advocacy group with good ideas for school meetings), plus you can purchase one of the T-shirts with the logo to wear to the meetings!! - R.E., Odessa, TX

Besides knowing your child's rights, which is more difficult than it sounds, and not taking no for an answer when you know what your child needs, I learned a very important tip this year. It doesn't matter what is written on paper but what actually happens in that classroom, and unless you actually go in and regularly observe that classroom, you really don't know. I couldn't figure out why David's behavior had become more aggressive at home, until I observed his class to find 4 children with out-of-control behavior disorders in his classroom. The class was total commotion and confusion, and the teacher confided in me that she felt she was not capable. It was not the teacher's fault, but the administration's, which failed to listen to her. They did listen to me. So, do speak up parents! - L.F., Pawtucket, RI

One of the best time and communication problems that was resolved at my son’s school has been a "communication book" that is kept in his pack sack. Anything that changes, either at home or at school, is written in his book. I will write down a simple change, for instance that I have a day off work. The school can then be prepared that my son may start requesting to come home because he knows that I am at home. The school will write down each day how his day went because we have a reward system with stickers that go on the calender for good behavior that works toward a bigger reward at the end of each week. This has worked well for both the school and ourselves, but most of all, it provides consistency for my son. - D.L., Nipigon, Ontario, Canada

I am a single mother and my daughter has autism. I do not have the option to stay at home or work flex hours. My tip is, at the beginning of August, call the school your child is attending and schedule an appointment with the principal and director of the after-school program. This way, you can make sure that all three of you are on the same "page" and that you get all the assistance your child may need up-front. Last year, we had no problem obtaining permission for one adult to supervise my daughter, one-on-one. There was also no problem in the school hiring that person.

We are in a new school this year. I called 2 days ago to schedule the meeting and was told that they are so short staffed, that they probably can not "accommodate" my daughter! Now I have 3 weeks to try and sort this out. Had I not called early, on the first day of school I would have been faced with finding something for her EVERY afternoon! - L.W., Marietta, GA

Whenever I send notes to school or anyone for that matter, I write the note on brightly colored paper. Then when I do a follow-up phone call, I remind them that I sent it on the bright green, orange, red, etc. paper. It helps them locate it in their stack of papers.

To help with organization, we color code the notebooks with the corresponding textbook. If the spelling book is yellow, we buy a yellow notebook. If the science book is purple, we get a purple notebook. This does help to keep the same textbook and notebook together for assignments. - S.G., Ogallala, NE

I have problems with misunderstandings about my son's Individualized Education Plan (IEP), and often need to send notes to his resource teacher, assistant principal or counselor. Often, David doesn't tell me there's a problem until we're sitting outside school, but his advocate has said to keep copies of all such notes.

So I now have a no-carbon-required memo book in my glove compartment. It has 100 pages, meaning that I can write 50 notes, and costs about $6 at an office superstore. When a minor problem arises, I just write a note, send the white original to the teacher and leave the yellow one in the book (easier to find if I ever need to go to mediation or a hearing!). And though they're still hand-written, they look more "serious" and "official" than a note written on pretty stationery or on a page ripped out of David's notebook. I've noticed that I get faster/better feedback from the school since making the switch. When the problem is SERIOUS, however, such as a three-day in-school suspension, I write all notes on the computer and fax them from a public fax. Then I file my copy, the transmission sheet and the sheet that proves the fax was received. If I get a call from the principal/teacher/counselor in response to my fax, I then do a computer memo about my understanding of the conversation and fax that to the school, including a line about "if you do not respond within 'x' working days, I will assume my interpretation of this matter is correct." - E.M., Indianapolis, IN

Bathing Tips

I learned from a mom of a low functioning autistic non-verbal child to use a bucket of water to wet the hair, counting backward from 10 and tilting the child's chin up so the water runs down his head off his face. Nowadays, my son gets 3 buckets of water, but in the past, we used just 2, one for wetting and one to rinse after the 2 in 1 shampoo. He tolerates separate conditioner now but still appreciates knowing when it is over.

By the way, she learned this in the ER, that is counting backward from 10. When the procedure was over, she got to 0. She counted slower if things were taking longer. And the doctor was told ahead of time to at least take a break at 0 so that the child knew that particular part of the procedure was done. Hope this helps someone else. - M.B., Walnut, CA

If your child goes through a phase where they are scared of the bath, try letting them get in with their clothes on first (maybe just a T-shirt and old shorts). For some reason, this can take the fear out of getting in the water.- B.N., Burlington, KY

Madeline likes to try and do things herself, but finds it very frustrating that she can't, especially in the bath. As any young lady wants to do, she wants to wash herself but can't hold onto a washcloth or sponge, and the commercial bath mitts are far too big for her little hands. So using a good quality hand terry towel and one of her mittens, I made her a wash mitt. Draw around the mitt, including the thumb so you have a "thumbless" mitt. Making it a little bigger than the original one, cut out 4 pieces of towel. Sew 2 bits together all around so you have a double thickness, and if you want, you can now sew a picture patch on the outside. Do the same with the other 2. Then sew the 2 double thickness shapes together and you have a wash mitt which will not come off your child's hand. If you want, you could also make the palm part a pocket so you can put a small piece of soap or soap leaves into it, but I haven't, as I like to use liquid soap with Maddie. I thought of this idea when I made a similar pair of mittens out of an old thick cotton T-shirt when my girls had chicken pox to stop them scratching the pox blisters. - T.H., Bristol, UK

Our son, Graham, is 3 years old and loves to play with toys in the tub. To give him extra support in the bathtub, he sits on a small foam/sponge rubber pad. This adds extra comfort while sitting and keeps his bum from slipping. One of his favorite tub activities is washing his dolly's hair and tummy. Perfect practice for his own! - R.S., London, England

I have a small and inexpensive (about $2.00) hint for bath time. I bought one of those foam pads that you use to kneel on while working in the garden, to save my knees while bathing my girls. They are available in the garden section of your local hardware or discount stores. P.S., I also use one of those spray attachments with the long hose (that attaches to the shower head) to help at bath time. - D.G., Chandler, AZ

My little angel is small and delayed due to Cri du Chat syndrome. She loves the water but because she is still working on learning to sit, her time in the bath was limited to how long I could hold her in the water. In her baby bath, there wasn't enough water for her to play. What water she could splash went everywhere, so I started putting her in the big tub. I then got the idea to take a baby bath seat and line the edges and posts with pieces of a water noodle that I cut apart. This provided soft support on all sides, allowed her to work on sitting, put her in a better position to play and allows her to splash as much as she wants and see floating toys. The bath seat has suckers on the bottom that prevents the seat from moving. I still stay with her. I've really enjoyed watching her play and strengthen her skills in a cool way. - C.V., San Antonio, TX

I have a 19-month-old daughter who was unable to sit unassisted, but could manage in a high chair. I found a bath seat by Gerry Products at Wal-Mart for under $20, that has a front bar that opens up and a bar between the legs that keeps her from sliding forward. The front bar locks in place after you put the baby in, so you don't have to struggle getting her legs through the openings. It is also large enough for older babies or toddlers to use too. If your child can sit with some support, but not alone yet, this bath seat is perfect! (P.S., it also collapses for travel!) - C.C., Tucson, AZ

We have a 14 month old who is unable to sit up. Because bath time is so difficult, we put her in a laundry basket (with holes) inside the tub. With a bath pillow behind her and a towel below to keep from slipping, this allows me to have my hands free while washing her. - T.M., Bakersfield, CA

I have a child who is unable to sit up unassisted, which makes bath time especially difficult. So, I bought a foam egg crate to lay her on, and I put an extra piece under her head. Now, I can lay her in the tub and not worry about her slipping or being uncomfortable. In fact, she loves being able to splash in the water. - L.B., Santa Clarita, CA