School Tips

My son has Tourettes syndrome, as well as ADHD and OCD. The lines of communication with his teacher and aide are very important. I've devised a form that I send to school each morning with my son that has the date and the medication he is currently taking (he rotates every 7 days). There is a section for "a.m. comments" (here I write how his previous evening was, how he slept, if he's in a waxing period, etc.). Then, there is a chart with columns for the time period, activity, activity level (on a 1 [least] to 5 [greatest] scale), his focusing level, and if he displayed tics. There is a section at the bottom for "p.m. comments," where his aide and/or teacher write anything I need to know that happened during the day. Although verbal communication is also a must, this eliminates having to speak with them on a daily basis. - J.K., Saranac Lake, NY

Know all of your rights, and don’t sign the school (ARD/IEP) papers if you truly do not agree. Voice your opinion, know what you want your child to get from the school system and push for it. Join "Mothers From Hell - Advocating Disability rights - we will not be silenced" (an advocacy group with good ideas for school meetings), plus you can purchase one of the T-shirts with the logo to wear to the meetings!! - R.E., Odessa, TX

Besides knowing your child's rights, which is more difficult than it sounds, and not taking no for an answer when you know what your child needs, I learned a very important tip this year. It doesn't matter what is written on paper but what actually happens in that classroom, and unless you actually go in and regularly observe that classroom, you really don't know. I couldn't figure out why David's behavior had become more aggressive at home, until I observed his class to find 4 children with out-of-control behavior disorders in his classroom. The class was total commotion and confusion, and the teacher confided in me that she felt she was not capable. It was not the teacher's fault, but the administration's, which failed to listen to her. They did listen to me. So, do speak up parents! - L.F., Pawtucket, RI

One of the best time and communication problems that was resolved at my son’s school has been a "communication book" that is kept in his pack sack. Anything that changes, either at home or at school, is written in his book. I will write down a simple change, for instance that I have a day off work. The school can then be prepared that my son may start requesting to come home because he knows that I am at home. The school will write down each day how his day went because we have a reward system with stickers that go on the calender for good behavior that works toward a bigger reward at the end of each week. This has worked well for both the school and ourselves, but most of all, it provides consistency for my son. - D.L., Nipigon, Ontario, Canada

I am a single mother and my daughter has autism. I do not have the option to stay at home or work flex hours. My tip is, at the beginning of August, call the school your child is attending and schedule an appointment with the principal and director of the after-school program. This way, you can make sure that all three of you are on the same "page" and that you get all the assistance your child may need up-front. Last year, we had no problem obtaining permission for one adult to supervise my daughter, one-on-one. There was also no problem in the school hiring that person.

We are in a new school this year. I called 2 days ago to schedule the meeting and was told that they are so short staffed, that they probably can not "accommodate" my daughter! Now I have 3 weeks to try and sort this out. Had I not called early, on the first day of school I would have been faced with finding something for her EVERY afternoon! - L.W., Marietta, GA

Whenever I send notes to school or anyone for that matter, I write the note on brightly colored paper. Then when I do a follow-up phone call, I remind them that I sent it on the bright green, orange, red, etc. paper. It helps them locate it in their stack of papers.

To help with organization, we color code the notebooks with the corresponding textbook. If the spelling book is yellow, we buy a yellow notebook. If the science book is purple, we get a purple notebook. This does help to keep the same textbook and notebook together for assignments. - S.G., Ogallala, NE

I have problems with misunderstandings about my son's Individualized Education Plan (IEP), and often need to send notes to his resource teacher, assistant principal or counselor. Often, David doesn't tell me there's a problem until we're sitting outside school, but his advocate has said to keep copies of all such notes.

So I now have a no-carbon-required memo book in my glove compartment. It has 100 pages, meaning that I can write 50 notes, and costs about $6 at an office superstore. When a minor problem arises, I just write a note, send the white original to the teacher and leave the yellow one in the book (easier to find if I ever need to go to mediation or a hearing!). And though they're still hand-written, they look more "serious" and "official" than a note written on pretty stationery or on a page ripped out of David's notebook. I've noticed that I get faster/better feedback from the school since making the switch. When the problem is SERIOUS, however, such as a three-day in-school suspension, I write all notes on the computer and fax them from a public fax. Then I file my copy, the transmission sheet and the sheet that proves the fax was received. If I get a call from the principal/teacher/counselor in response to my fax, I then do a computer memo about my understanding of the conversation and fax that to the school, including a line about "if you do not respond within 'x' working days, I will assume my interpretation of this matter is correct." - E.M., Indianapolis, IN